Eutychus
08-16-2002, 10:38 AM
HUSBAND SHOPPING
There was a "Husband Shopping Center" where a woman could go to choose a husband from among many men. It was laid out in five floors, with the men increasing in positive attributes as you ascended up the floors. The only rule was, once you opened the door to any floor, you must choose a man from that floor, and if you went up a floor, you couldn't go back down except to leave the place. So, a couple of girlfriends go to the place to find men.
First floor: The door had a sign saying "These men have jobs and love kids." The women read the sign and say, "Well that's better than not having jobs, or not loving kids, but I wonder what's further up?" So up they go.
Second floor: Says "These men have high paying jobs, love kids, and are extremely good looking" Hummm, say the girls. But, I wonder what's further up?
Third floor: "These men have high paying jobs, are extremely good looking, love kids and help with the housework." WOW! say the women. Very tempting, BUT, there's more further up! And up they go.
Fourth Floor: "These men have high paying jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak." Oh mercy me. But just think! What must be awaiting us further up! So up to the fifth floor they go.
Fifth floor: The sign on the door said, "This floor is just to prove that women are impossible to please. Please exit the building and have a nice day.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
And on the flip side:
WAYS TO TURN MEN DOWN
HE: Can I buy you a drink?
SHE: Actually I'd rather have the money.
HE: I'm a photographer. I've been looking for a face like yours.
SHE: I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like yours.
HE: Hi. Didn't we go on a date once? Or was it twice?
SHE: Must've been once. I never make the same mistake twice.
HE: How did you get to be so beautiful?
SHE: I must've been given your share.
HE: Will you go out with me this Saturday?
SHE: Sorry. I'm having a headache this weekend.
HE: Your face must turn a few heads.
SHE: And your face must turn a few stomachs.
HE: Go on, don't be shy. Ask me out.
SHE: Okay, get out.
HE: I think I could make you very happy.
SHE: Why? Are you leaving?
HE: What would you say if I asked you to marry me?
SHE: Nothing. I can't talk and laugh at the same time.
HE: Can I have your name?
SHE: Why? Don't you already have one?
HE: Shall we go see a movie?
SHE: I've already seen it.
HE: Where have you been all my life?
SHE: Hiding from you.
HE: Haven't I seen you some place before?
SHE: Yes. That's why I don't go there anymore.
HE: Is this seat empty?
SHE: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
HE: So, what do you do for a living?
SHE: I'm a female impersonator.
HE: Hey baby, what's your sign?
SHE: Do not enter.
HE: Your body is like a temple.
SHE: Sorry, there are no services today.
HE: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
SHE: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.
HE: Where have you been all my life?
SHE: Where I'll be the rest of your life in your wildest dreams.
:rolleyes:
There was a "Husband Shopping Center" where a woman could go to choose a husband from among many men. It was laid out in five floors, with the men increasing in positive attributes as you ascended up the floors. The only rule was, once you opened the door to any floor, you must choose a man from that floor, and if you went up a floor, you couldn't go back down except to leave the place. So, a couple of girlfriends go to the place to find men.
First floor: The door had a sign saying "These men have jobs and love kids." The women read the sign and say, "Well that's better than not having jobs, or not loving kids, but I wonder what's further up?" So up they go.
Second floor: Says "These men have high paying jobs, love kids, and are extremely good looking" Hummm, say the girls. But, I wonder what's further up?
Third floor: "These men have high paying jobs, are extremely good looking, love kids and help with the housework." WOW! say the women. Very tempting, BUT, there's more further up! And up they go.
Fourth Floor: "These men have high paying jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak." Oh mercy me. But just think! What must be awaiting us further up! So up to the fifth floor they go.
Fifth floor: The sign on the door said, "This floor is just to prove that women are impossible to please. Please exit the building and have a nice day.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
And on the flip side:
WAYS TO TURN MEN DOWN
HE: Can I buy you a drink?
SHE: Actually I'd rather have the money.
HE: I'm a photographer. I've been looking for a face like yours.
SHE: I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like yours.
HE: Hi. Didn't we go on a date once? Or was it twice?
SHE: Must've been once. I never make the same mistake twice.
HE: How did you get to be so beautiful?
SHE: I must've been given your share.
HE: Will you go out with me this Saturday?
SHE: Sorry. I'm having a headache this weekend.
HE: Your face must turn a few heads.
SHE: And your face must turn a few stomachs.
HE: Go on, don't be shy. Ask me out.
SHE: Okay, get out.
HE: I think I could make you very happy.
SHE: Why? Are you leaving?
HE: What would you say if I asked you to marry me?
SHE: Nothing. I can't talk and laugh at the same time.
HE: Can I have your name?
SHE: Why? Don't you already have one?
HE: Shall we go see a movie?
SHE: I've already seen it.
HE: Where have you been all my life?
SHE: Hiding from you.
HE: Haven't I seen you some place before?
SHE: Yes. That's why I don't go there anymore.
HE: Is this seat empty?
SHE: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
HE: So, what do you do for a living?
SHE: I'm a female impersonator.
HE: Hey baby, what's your sign?
SHE: Do not enter.
HE: Your body is like a temple.
SHE: Sorry, there are no services today.
HE: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
SHE: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.
HE: Where have you been all my life?
SHE: Where I'll be the rest of your life in your wildest dreams.
:rolleyes: