View Full Version : anatomy of a puterholic
Jiggy
08-28-2002, 07:04 PM
1. ghostly pale complexion due to lack of exposure to sunlight.
2. tiny, beady eyes unaccustomed to light.
3. inability to converse with real people.
4. huge muscular index finger due to constant mouse clicking.
5. computer chair has become part of him/her.
6. bum cheeks are actually two huge callouses from sitting all day.
7. legs wasted away after months of non-use.
8. incredibly smelly trousers-have never been washed, and never will be.
and above all esle im getting Cable Modem in two weeks, its about time:D :D
Gallaeglagh
08-28-2002, 07:29 PM
And then there's this from the Onion
http://www.theonion.com/onion3301/cybercorner.html
Lucias_Clay
08-28-2002, 09:14 PM
4. huge muscular index finger due to constant mouse clicking I generally use my thumb and third fingers. Not that I'm trying to be picky.
rahulkothari
08-29-2002, 12:01 AM
9. thick glasses
10. uncombed hair
11. can type faster than talk
ranchdog
08-29-2002, 09:36 AM
12. Has this humoungus stack of notes
that is written in some special
"geek" code.
13. UPS preferred customer.
14. Has been known to spill coffee on
Keyboard.
RD.
Whyzman
08-29-2002, 11:22 PM
15. Faster is the operative word.
rahulkothari
10-04-2003, 12:43 PM
16. Everyone laughed throughout the film. He repeatedly uttered "L.O.L.".
saphalline
10-06-2003, 04:53 PM
17. Thinks "applet" instead of "coffee" when someone says "Java"
18. Spent so much on upgrades last year that he/she had to declare it on taxes.
19. Spent so much on upgrades last year that he/she had to get separate computer insurance.
20. Significant other is jealous of computer, not other women/men. :D
pave_spectre
10-07-2003, 07:16 AM
21. Computer equipment is set up on a 6 foot by 2 foot table while meals are eaten from 1 foot square lap table.
Whyzman
10-07-2003, 09:24 AM
22. "Body Building" consists of a Motherboard & Case and where one goes from there...
23. The word "Upgrade" only applies to computers...
24. Ones "Favorites" consist of nothing but computer related links...
25. The phrase "That's cool!" immediately elicits images of 120mm case fans...
26. You've a "Farmer's tan" from your wrist strap...
26a. And, have figured a way to mount a watch dial on it...
26b. And, you've gotten "whiplash" forgetting to unclip...
Abbadon
10-07-2003, 09:42 AM
20*: Significant other is only known to the geek trough chat and email, possibly gaming
27: Does frag-counts during the evening news
28: Is capable of counting his sit-ups in binary
28a: but is incapable of actually doing any situps
29: preys on assorted forms of junkfood and is allergic to fruit & vegetable when not on pizza
30: dreams of getting an RJ45 jack at the base of his neck
pave_spectre
10-07-2003, 10:00 AM
31. Runs so much equipment is on first name terms with the CEO of the power company.
Jason1971
10-09-2003, 05:03 AM
32. Does not mind being called nerd or geek by girlfriend..
33. Threatend computer with a large bore shotgun if problems continue.
#33 does work......don't knock until you try it.....:D
Whyzman
10-09-2003, 08:12 AM
#34. Computer/s have been give name/s of endearment...Personified if you will...
#35. Eavesdrops on any computer related conversations...
#36. Cannot wait when visiting friends to be able to get on their computer and see how bloated their start menu is...
Abbadon
10-09-2003, 08:40 AM
#37: Anyone claiming to be a huge "fan" of something will immediatly be installed in said geeks case.
pave_spectre
10-09-2003, 08:50 AM
38. Will happily quote hardware specs regardless of blank stares.
38a Is continually asked to speak in English, despite actually speaking English.
39. Has encountered more porn than most people actually looking for porn combined.
Mark Miller
10-09-2003, 10:10 AM
#40, will actually understand ixl's new theme on tc/ip
mark:D
rahulkothari
10-09-2003, 11:10 AM
41. On hearing about SARS outbreak, he visited this site (http://www.nortonantivirus.com) for more info.
pave_spectre
10-09-2003, 11:17 AM
42. Has a fridge with internet access
42. Calculates tax in Hexadecimal, and includes downloads as 'income'.
rond36
10-09-2003, 08:32 PM
43. Claimed the computer as a dependant on last years tax return.
Abbadon
10-10-2003, 08:30 AM
#44 Has little metal hooks on his glasses the keep his eyelids open during all-night geek-sessions (or, in extreme cases, has eyelids removed)
pave_spectre
10-10-2003, 09:09 AM
#45. Has one room taken up entirely by 486s and early Pentiums.
#46. Can tell the difference between a Pentium 4 and an Athlon XP just by the sound it makes.
pentachris
10-10-2003, 12:46 PM
47. Welcome mat at front door reads "There's No Place Like 127.0.0.1"
Mark Miller
10-10-2003, 07:24 PM
How did you know what my front door mat read?
Mark:D :D
pave_spectre
10-11-2003, 09:59 AM
# 48. Has plenty of tech support horror stories despite having never used (or been) tech support.
david eaton
10-11-2003, 12:30 PM
#49 Thinks there are 10 types of people - those who count in binary, and those who don't!
Paul Komski
10-11-2003, 07:55 PM
#50 Believe that they were not born; that they were just downloaded.
saphalline
10-11-2003, 09:26 PM
51) Spent the first month after seeing The Matrix looking for deja-vu's and other "anomolies" :D
Abbadon
10-12-2003, 06:44 AM
#52: Has aranged his social network in a token ring
pave_spectre
10-12-2003, 06:56 AM
#53. Actually knows what 'Token Ring' is.
rahulkothari
10-12-2003, 09:48 AM
54. Favourite font color : Green
:rolleyes:
:D :D :D
rahulkothari
10-12-2003, 09:58 AM
55. Geek's Heaven....
pave_spectre
10-12-2003, 10:00 AM
#56. Communicates only via e-mail and instant messaging. Even with people in the same building.
Whyzman
10-12-2003, 12:23 PM
#57 Business card has only pertinent information...name and email addy...
Abbadon
10-12-2003, 01:41 PM
#58 Realy does use the cd's he messed up as coasters (because he's to lazy to throw them away and they're lying about everywhere)
Whyzman
10-12-2003, 02:23 PM
#58a Is really saving them because there's a firm belief that technology is just experiencing a hiatus and will eventually catch up find a way to make them recordable once again...
Paul Komski
10-12-2003, 04:00 PM
#59
pave_spectre
10-13-2003, 04:56 AM
#60. Can discuss International Beer Variety (http://www.pcguide.com/vb/showthread.php?threadid=25433) in a completely open and intellectual manner.
Whyzman
10-13-2003, 08:45 AM
#60a Can drink International Beer Varieties in a completely open and intellectual manner.
pave_spectre
10-14-2003, 01:49 AM
#61. Is a member of http://www.pcguide.com/ubb/pcgubb.gif Forums!:D :p :cool:
saphalline
10-14-2003, 05:46 AM
62) 'Time Capsule' consists of old computer adds that are taken out once a year for laughs.
63) Wonders why normal people are still trying to understand computers, yet holds a certain "pet-like" admiration for their endurance. :p
Abbadon
10-14-2003, 08:18 AM
#64 "Paper and pencil? Like, where can I download that? Does it run under linux?"
LadyGrey
10-14-2003, 08:35 AM
#65 Repeatedly sprains clicker thumb (uses trackball mouse) from 12 and 18 hour computer sessions 7 days a week.
#66 Forgets they have a family that needs dinner "every" night and laundry done all the time, not just during downloads or downtime.
pave_spectre
10-14-2003, 08:39 AM
#67 Is extremely sporting. Will quite happily inform his/her opponent before blasting them in the back with a pulse laser gatling cannon!
#68 Has two rearview mirrors mounted on the sides of his monitor to see his family
pave_spectre
10-15-2003, 06:30 AM
#68a. Or boss.
Abbadon
10-15-2003, 06:57 AM
#69 considers his body to be hardware and his mind to be software. Doctors and psychiatrists are helpdesk-jockeys.
#70 Is amused by summing up his own physical and psychological features.
Mark Miller
10-15-2003, 04:38 PM
71 finds the posts in this thread being to close to the truth about his or her life
mark:)
alex666
10-16-2003, 01:04 AM
#72 Must pause to decipher letter combinations like the following: "In my humble opinion" and "By the way".
gracious
10-16-2003, 11:36 AM
#73 When someone mentions foreign language you immediately think of COBOL.
#74 You have a tattoo of the Intel logo
#75 You know exactly how much HDD space you have but can't remember your spouse's birthday.
#76 You are in agony awaiting a response from a thread you posted on the PC Guide Forum, can't sleep, can't eat, basically can't function until there is a response to your puter problem.:D
pave_spectre
10-17-2003, 07:20 AM
#74a OR the AMD logo.
#77 Can quickly construct boolean queries for use in primitive search engines.
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