Oh No!.......

[ranchdog]

:(


http://www.geocities.com/damage60uk/att00704.jpg.txt



RD.

[YODA74]

Oh man :( .....gotta be a hoax bet his parents have a lot of explaining to do

[jabarnutcase]

Man, I know how the poor kid feels. I was really upset for a while there.
Thankfully, I noticed the year 2000.
I know darn well he's been around the last couple of years! :D

Holy Schmoly! Don't scare me like that! :eek:

[Whyzman]

Now that's what I call a monumental discovery! :rolleyes:

This is definitely a pretty grave situation if he's really gone! :rolleyes:

I wonder where they dug that photo up? :rolleyes:

I agree Jabar, it's not carved in stone that he's really dead...granite the date says 2000, but we have rock solid proof that he's delivered the goods for the last two years! ;)

[jabarnutcase]

Now that's the spirit WYZMN !
I showed the photo to my aunt ler and she knew instantly it was a fake.

She told me it would have to rain deer before she would ever believe something so silly.

I was dead wrong to have thought, even for a moment, that he was really gone.
Just to be sure though, I sent out a questioner all over North America via the internet.....The North Poll showed overwhelmingly that Santa was indeed alive and well! :)

You can the view results of that poll HERE (http://www.pcguide.com/vb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=18870)
I for one am a jolly old fellow again! ;)

[YODA74]

according to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, both male and female reindeer grow antlers every summer, but the males shed theirs at the beginning of winter, usually late November to mid-December.Female reindeer retain their antlers until after they give birth in the spring.

Therefore, according to every historical rendition depicting Santa's reindeer, every one of them, from Rudolph to Blitzen, has to be a girl.

We should've known. Only females could drag a fat-axx man in a red velvet suit all around the world in one night and not get lost

[kayofcircles]

Sorry..time to dredge this up again from last year! ho ho!

Santa is female:

I hate to be the one to defy sacred myth, but I believe he's a she. Think about it. Christmas is a big, organized, warm, fuzzy, nurturing social deal, and I have a tough time believing a guy could possibly pull it all off!

For starters, the vast majority of men don't even think about selecting gifts until Christmas Eve. Once at the mall, they always seem surprised to find only Ronco products, socket wrench sets, and mood rings left on the shelves. On this count alone, I'm convinced Santa is a woman. Surely, if he were a man, everyone in the universe would wake up Christmas morning to find a rotating musical Chia Pet under the tree, still in the bag.

Another problem for a he-Santa would be getting there. First of all, there would be no reindeer because they would all be dead, gutted and strapped on to the rear bumper of the sleigh amid wide-eyed, desperate claims that buck season had been extended. Blitzen's rack would already be on the way to the taxidermist. Even if the male Santa DID have reindeer, he'd still have transportation problems because he would inevitably get lost up there in the snow and clouds and then refuse to stop and ask for directions.

Other reasons why Santa can't possibly be a man:
* Men can't pack a bag.
* Men would rather be dead than caught wearing red velvet.
* Men would feel their masculinity is threatened...having to be seen with all those elves.
* Men don't answer their mail.
* Men would refuse to allow their physique to be described even in jest as anything remotely resembling a "bowlful of jelly."
* Men aren't interested in stockings unless somebody's wearing them
* Having to do the Ho Ho Ho thing would seriously inhibit their ability to pick up women.
* Finally, being responsible for Christmas would require a commitment.

I can buy the fact that other mythical holiday characters are men.......Father Time shows up once a year unshaven and looking ominous. Definite guy! Cupid flies around carrying weapons. Uncle Sam is a politician who likes to point fingers. Any one of these individuals could pass the testosterone screening test. But not St. Nick. Not a chance!

[Ghost_Hacker]

LOL :D :D :D :D

[Eutychus]

I don't know if it's true, but I noticed a serious difference in the quality of gifts under the tree last year. Clothes were all off-brand. I asked for a new laptop but I got a device that had, instead of a keyboard, just two knobs and to clear the screen I have to turn it upside down and shake vigorously...

I usually stay up late on Christmas eve and last year I never heard hoofs or sleigh bells on the roof. But I noticed a faded-red 1987 Cadillac stopping at all the houses in the neighborhood. I'm wondering if, perhaps, there was a coup - or a mob hit & take over - in 2000 and now there is a pretender going around making deliveries. It could explain all those big credit card bills that started coming in January; it sure felt like extortion.

[Lucias_Clay]

Ranchdog I heard a story recently where a Vicar in England told his congregation including small children the reasons Santa Claus was dead.
http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_725147.html
Kay what you say might very well be true, I had thought of a joke about a amn that might exhibit these traits but then In the spirit of being 'Tolerant' I decided against it.

[kayofcircles]

Lucias: Uh..no, I didn't write the Santa is female! Had it saved in my Funnies folder from last year..have no idea where it originated from. Know what you mean, though, because Eutychus' post reminded me of another funny I read last year..where Santa was a redneck from the south..and as you said, even if I did save it in my Funnies folder, should probably restrain from posting it..eh?:)

[Lucias_Clay]

Oh no kay don't misunderstand me I thought it was hilarious.:D(and truer than I'd like to admit)
But the man I was talking about definatly was NOT a redneck.:p

[kayofcircles]

Well, some parts truer than others...:) If it wasn't for me, we'd still be wandering some stores like lost mariners..because "some" of us won't EVER ask for help or directions! It's my job to go find a clerk and ask for help finding something, and as I wander past my beloved following the clerk..he pretends he doesn't even know me...:D

Eutychus : Forgot to say thanks yesterday for that trip down memory lane. Been many many years since I "drew" things with my Etch-a-Sketch! Are they still making those?

[Lucias_Clay]

Kay asking a clerk may work alot of places but I have found out it doesn't work very well at Wal-Mart. Even most clerks don't know where anything is at Wal-Mart.I deliver snacks and when we get a delivery alot of tomes things are in a differant place, I told my boss one time that they must have all worked at Wal-Mart I don't think he thought it was very funny:D