Hormone Hostage

[gracious]

The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a man
has to do is open his mouth and he takes his very life into his own hands!
This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the
wallet of every husband, boyfriend, or significant other!!

DANGEROUS: What's for dinner?
SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?
SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: Are you wearing that?
SAFER: Gee, you look good in brown.
SAFEST: WOW! Look at you!
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about?
SAFER: What did I do wrong?
SAFEST: Here's fifty dollars.
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?
SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left.
SAFEST: Can I get you a glass of wine with that?
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: What did you do all day?
SAFER: I hope you didn't overdo it today.
SAFEST: I've always loved you in that robe!
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some more chocolate.

13 Things PMS Stands For:
1. Pass My Shotgun
2. Psychotic Mood Shift
3. Perpetual Munching Spree
4. Puffy Mid-Section
5. People Make me Sick
6. Provide Me with Sweets
7. Pardon My Sobbing
8. Pimples May Surface
9. Pass My Sweatpants
10. Plainly; Men Suck
11. Pack My Stuff........And my favorite one...
12. Potential Murder Suspect

Pass this onto all of your hormonal friends and those who might need
a good laugh! Or men who need a warning! And remember: Money
talks...but chocolate sings.

Another thing to giggle about... A husband, not happy with his wife's mood swings, bought her a mood ring the other day so he would be able to monitor her moods. When she was in a good mood, it turned green. When she was in a bad mood, it left a big red mark on his forehead. Maybe next time he'll buy her diamonds. :D
Here have some chocolate.

[FrankSG]

.


13 Things PMS Stands For:
1. Pass My Shotgun
2. Psychotic Mood Shift
3. Perpetual Munching Spree
4. Puffy Mid-Section
5. People Make me Sick
6. Provide Me with Sweets
7. Pardon My Sobbing
8. Pimples May Surface
9. Pass My Sweatpants
10. Plainly; Men Suck
11. Pack My Stuff........And my favorite one...
12. Potential Murder Suspect

.
How about "Pretty miserable spouse"? I feel safe in sending this because my wife never reads these posts. If you don't hear from me anymore, it means that she did read this one. :) Just kidding. She's a pretty good gal. My problem always came when I put my mouth in gear before I engaged my brain.

[LadyGrey]

Frank you are adorable! Hope your wife knows how lucky she is and we will come to your defense if needed!! :D "How can you be mad at him? He defends the only female geeks on the PC Guide"! ;) :D Gracious you have just done it again! I like 12 myself :p "What? Who ME?? I have no idea what you are on about, I've been putting together this computer! Wasn't my fault he put his finger in the open case of the monitor!" oops! I take the 5th!
LG:D

[gracious]

:cool:female geeks on the PC Guide"! :cool:


I especially like the last paragraph, cracks me up everytime I read it!


Another thing to giggle about... A husband, not happy with his wife's mood swings, bought her a mood ring the other day so he would be able to monitor her moods. When she was in a good mood, it turned green. When she was in a bad mood, it left a big red mark on his forehead. Maybe next time he'll buy her diamonds.
Here have some chocolate.Preferably Godiva chocolate!!