College Student In Need of Help

[wsuraider09]

Hey everybody..

I'm a 19 year old college student, about to turn 20...and i live at home...and just today my over-bearing mother decided to cut my internet. im really good with computers, and programming, and html etc...but she works for the government, and she has her ways.

We have high speed roadrunner, going through the modem, then through a router...4 connections...She has a way to turn off my connectivity to the network without unplugging my cat5 from the back of the router...i have my own computer, that i paid for, and i have it all locked up, so she is doing it from her computer downstairs...

But i went to the basement, checked the router, and my internet doesnt work, but my moms and my sisters, (on the same router) work fine...

So anybody have any clue what shes using, and how to get around it without having to get on her PC (gov't passwords and random rich-boggle)
i changed my IP, and also beefed up my firewalls, but nothing going.

Thanks for any help.

[classicsoftware]

First, Welcome to http://www.pcguide.com/ubb/pcgubb.gif forums.

Next, I have some bad news for you. As a parent, I will not help you circumvent your mothers wishes.

Why did she kick you off the net????

[wsuraider09]

because i have "bad grades" and am therefore, treated like a 13 year old who looked at too much porno...my grades arent great, but they sure as heck arent anything id consider bad...

thanks for your "help"

[Sylvander]

My goodness!
19 years of age; you've almost reached that historically magical age at which people are considered full grown adults.
["Oh for ane and twenty Tam!"]
Here in Scotland, 16-year-olds are free to marry, and at 18 free to drink in public houses.

My son and both daughters all left home at or before the age of 18 to live independently.
Oldest son and daughter both went to University and lived in student accommodation.
They still live independently in rented appartments, have their own source of income, make their own decisions, their own friends, sexual relationships.
My wife and I have no control over any of that, and none is needed.
My son plays in a rock band [Red Bee Society (http://www.redbeesociety.co.uk/)] and is studying to be a Physics Teacher at the moment.
Eldest daughter works as a researcher in the labs at Edinburgh University.
She took up belly dancing as a hobby and is now one of the best, is in great demand, and is begginning to make a lot of money on the side doing that.
Youngest daughter left home at 16 to live with her boyfriend.
We offered no opposition to that, but wished her well ["leave them alone and they'll come home wagging their tails behind them"].
Their rented flat was nicer than our own home!
As is the way of these things, as she matured they parted company and she came back home to live.
She has her own job [which she likes] and income.
Last year she resigned her job and spent 3 months living on the Island of Cofu off the coast of Greece.
That gave her a whole new view on the world and people and places [there's no place like home...there's no place like home...]
When she left her employers said they would be delighted to have her back if/when she returned, so she went back to her old job, then they promoted her to a supervisory position [unusual in one so young].

Does this give you any ideas?
Parents sometimes have difficulty giving their children space TO BECOME THEMSELVES.
They often NEED TO FEEL NEEDED, and/or IN CONTROL.
In my view, that is an error in parenting skills.
When it's taken to extremes it is a nightmare for the poor victim.
If your mother succeeds in being in control of your present and future life, you will never develop your own ability to make MATURE independent desicions about how to run your own affairs. [Seek maturity in all your sayings and doings.]
It's very important that you do so.
You won't, however, achieve this by REACTING to her actions.
She is attempting to direct you down what she considers to be a sensible life path. But that isn't YOUR PATH.
Your path through life may, or may not, be as good as the path she would choose for you, but it will be yours, and perhaps worth dying for if necessary.
Motivation is everything in life.
Without a deep and personally felt desire to do this or that there is no motive force driving your life.
That's probably why your grades are ok, but not that great.
Why should you get good grades just because your mother wants them?
That's no good reason to get them.
Get things [whatever they are] because YOU want them.
Copy this out and give it to your mother.
Tell her that if she wants you to have what YOU consider to be success in life, she MUST give you room to become and be whoever it is you are and will be.
And if she gives you that space, try to use it to be smart.
Don't use it as an opportunity to be as stupid as you like; to make every mistake in the book.
If you are smart you will make use of every ounce of wisdom that she possesses [as well as your own].
ASK HER ADVICE when you think that might improve your life strategy.
SHOW HER RESPECT when she deserves it; but don't disrespect her even if she deserves that [be positive, not negative].
Those who give respect tend to get it in return [which is nice].

[hockey man]

Respecting your parents when they chop you computer usage is hard. . .I had it when I was younger. She is doing it though in an attempt to help you though. So I suggest you ask her what you need to do to get back your privaledges. Then working towards that.

[wsuraider09]

well she said i 'have to improve my grades'...and a few of my classes are computer-based...and therefore is making it extremely difficult to get to work..

luckily i figured out how she did it this morning, and the problem ceases to exist.

thanks for the scottish story tho

[saphalline]

Ironically enough, this little incident probably helped your computer skills as you've already figured it out! :p

I'm not going to judge your mother or you or the whole situation, but from a pragmatic perspective, it wasn't the best idea to cut off your internet to coax you into getting better grades! :eek: In this day and age, most colleges will expect you to have access to a computer. If you don't, there's always the extremely inconvenient public lab, but this lacks all of the resources necessary to get most computer-based classwork done, IMO. For instance, some of my classes require me to email assignments to the professor. So if you had a class situation similar to mine (which it sounds like you might) then it's ironic that your mother would cut off your internet access to force you to get better grades. That's like grounding you inside the house to force you to get fresh air! :rolleyes:

I think a lot of parents have very little concept of how modern schools and colleges work. The internet is a necessity now, not just a secondary research tool. And if your major is computer-related, then having your own computer is also a necessity. I can't use the public computer lab for all of my school work because some of my work involves network/virus testing and extensive programming projects. These are impossible to do in the public computer lab because they are so complex and intensive and involve more than one OS.

Again, I'm not trying to judge or be malicious, and neither is anyone else. If you do decide to confront her about this in a constructive manner, it might indeed be worth it to show her this thread.

[john_noble]

I would suggest you to change your NIC and IP :D