Manuals

[kayofcircles]

Yesterday while reading through posts in this forum, I saw "refer to your manual" again which seems like excellent advice except that we apparently buy the "wrong" things. All our "manuals" put together would be approximately the thickness of a comprehensive dictionary. Our manuals are usually about 4 pages that can be summarized as follows:
Step 1.. Install the device.
Step 2.. Plug in device (if applicable) to wall socket.
Step 3.. Install software. (sometimes 1 and 3 are flipped)
Step 4.. Turn on device.
Step 5.. Hope for the best, but if that doesn't work, refer to troubleshooter on next page.
(Troubleshooter: Have you installed device correctly? Have you plugged in device? Have you installed software? Have you turned device on? Have you hoped for the best?)
Step 6.. Our website has answers to every question you might have...go there and see.
Step 7.. If you have checked every single nook and cranny of our website and still cannot find the answer to your question, you may call us. But, be aware that we are very busy answering stupid questions and you WILL be on hold for who knows how long listening to music you don't like and a re-occuring message of "Everything you need to know is on our website". If you can endure the headache (from the music) and the neck ache (from trying to do other things while on hold), we will answer your call but we will need the all your puter specifications (including things you didn't even know you had) and your cousin's mother's maiden name for verification purposes.
If you have made it this far, please be aware that the problem will NEVER EVER be our software (although we are ready to sell you an upgrade to the software you just bought for a mere $XX). The problem you are having will always be your computer, your OS, or you!
Thank you for purchasing our product, and have a nice day!

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Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day.
Teach a man to fish and he will eat for the rest of his life.
-- Chinese Proverb

[tjaymadison]

Good one, Kay! http://www.PCGuide.com/ubb/biggrin.gif

Kinda surprised your manuals are written in such clear English, though.
You must be one of the lucky ones! http://www.PCGuide.com/ubb/rolleyes.gif

Also think you left off an 'X', but who am I to quibble? http://www.PCGuide.com/ubb/wink.gif

Birdcage liners, anyone?

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"I am not able to rightly apprehend the kind of confusion of ideas that could provoke such a question."
-- Charles Babbage, mathematician, computer pioneer, analytical engine designer (1791-1871)
-- (Question: 'Pray, Mr. Babbage, if you put into the machine wrong figures, will the right answers come out?')

"Just because I don't care, doesn't mean I don't understand."
-- Homer Simpson

[AwARe]

hahaha yeah no kidding........
Here is the entire troubleshooting section of my mother board manual, wait til ya read this one lmao...............

Troubleshooting Guide.......
The basic principle in troubleshooting is basically "replace and reboot" For example if you think your ram is faulty, replace it with different memory and reboot. If it works, then you can deduce that you have found the problem.

Theres a few more lines to it, but thats pretty much the bulk of it, pretty helpful stuff http://www.PCGuide.com/ubb/rolleyes.gif heh

[kayofcircles]

Like that, Aware, and the ones that loop..you know the ones that say "refer to" such and such..and that part refers you back to where you started. Very helpful.

Also am curious about the music while on hold. Do they say/think "Hhmm, only 10 per cent of the population likes opera, so let's play that!" or do they have some kind of program that selects the music based on your location? Like "your area code is from the south, so you may like c&w, so we're gonna play acid rock!"

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Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day.
Teach a man to fish and he will eat for the rest of his life.
-- Chinese proverb

[AwARe]

believe it or not I think that music is part of some subscription setup
(really I dont know) but I have found it odd sometimes that, well take my work for instance......I have made a call to a different company and they have the exact music playing on their hold system as my company does at the exact same time........its really odd lmao.....and "its not" a radio station............probably some conspiracy with some kinda subliminal something going on in the background hahahaha

[mjc]

customer support is great, customer support is great, MS is wonderful, Ms is wonderful, the devil wears pink socks.....waiting isn't so bad...you called here, and we were playing Freecell now you are going to wait until Hell freezes over to get your qustion answered....

*customer support subliminals that I decoded...slowed down and played in reverse, of course.... http://www.PCGuide.com/ubb/biggrin.gif

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mjc
Links list:Computer Links (http://www.fortunecity.com/skyscraper/highrise/11/index.htm)

Celts are the men that heaven made mad, For all their battles are merry and their songs are all sad.

[LeeV]

Hi all,

The lousy hold music is probably a satalite feed. I used to work for a company who used this sort of thing. We had over 100 digital music feeds to choose from, and the company preferred the Musak elevator selection.
http://www.PCGuide.com/ubb/rolleyes.gif

Once we learned how to change the selection, we drove the boss crazy constantly changing it to Alternate, Classic, and Hard rock feeds. The customers I talked to enjoyed the hold music, but not the bosses mom! http://www.PCGuide.com/ubb/eek.gif

Shortly before I left, they went back to the old continuous loop soundrack! I couldn't take it anymore, the only thing worse was working at K-mart during highschool, and listening to all those blue-light specials! http://www.PCGuide.com/ubb/biggrin.gif

.....besides we played Doom and Tetris, when the boss wasn't looking.

[This message has been edited by LeeV (edited 05-26-2001).]

[kayofcircles]

LeeV: Don't know how you survived the KMart experience. Last time I shopped there, they played a c&w song with "All my ex's live in Texas" and I left the store with that stuck in my head. "Different strokes" and all that, but I am not a fan of c&w.

You would think that customer support places would play music they think "most" people like so that you're not so crabby when your call is finally answered.

Like the subliminals, mjc, but think "now you are going to wait until Hell freezes over to get your qustion answered" should be altered to "your STUPID question answered" because somehow the implication that I am an idiot and "puter inept" is always there.

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Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day.
Teach a man to fish and he will eat for the rest of his life.
-- Chinese proverb